


Through No Fault Of Your Own

by felinedetached



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Child Neglect, Dealing with the shit homestuck never did, Emotional Neglect technically, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Pesterlog, aka roses neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-23 10:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12504844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felinedetached/pseuds/felinedetached
Summary: Rose Lalonde never canonically got the chance to deal with the effects of her mother's neglect.I think she should get that chance.





	1. Chapter 1

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 3:26pm!

TG: so lalonde hows it going with your wife  
TG: any juicy details to tell me  
TG: actually please dont tell me juicy details im pretty sure i dont want to know  
TG: and never will want to know  
TT: And I’m sure you’ll never find out.  
TG: oh good  
TG: but that doesnt tell me anything  
TG: come on lalonde answer my first question  
TG: or dont you want me to know how things are going with the glowing vampire lady you married  
TT: Things with Kanaya are fine, Dave.  
TT: Great, even.  
TG: dont sound that great  
TG: whats up  
TT: Nothing. Or, well, nothing important.  
TG: everythings always important  
TG: time is an illusion  
TG: importance is subjective  
TG: see now youve got me sounding like you  
TG: whats nothing  
TT: It’s nothing compared to what you suffered before the game. It honestly doesn’t even matter in comparison to what we suffered _during_ the game. It shouldn’t still bother me.  
TT: It’s stupid, and doesn’t matter.  
TG: are you implying what i think youre implying  
TG: what i dealt with before the game was worse than what most people did  
TG: but that doesnt mean whatever happened to you isnt important  
TG: dont compare your problems to mine rose  
TG: youre just as important as i am  
TG: what happened  
TT: I don’t want to bother you.  
TG: like you ever could  
TG: also hey you dealt with my bullshit for ten years i can deal with your bullshit for an hour  
TG: not to say your problems are bullshit  
TG: or my problems are bullshit  
TG: not tryna put anyone down here  
TG: anyway continue  
TT: My mother… was never there for me. I mean, she was always present. She was in the house a lot of the time but. She was never really there, if that makes sense.  
TT: I don’t blame her for what happened. She was likely alcoholic before I was even born, and in taking me in she was kinder than most people would ever be.  
TT: But she wasn’t fit to be a mother. She didn’t know what she was doing, and it didn’t turn out well. I wish I could have helped her in some way, been more understanding or been a better child.  
TT: But I don’t know how I could of, and I can’t change anything now anyway.  
TG: okay first of all  
TG: if she wasnt ready to have a child she shouldnt have taken you in  
TG: and hey the american foster system might not be that great but if she wasnt ready for you and knew she couldnt look after you she shouldnt have chosen the way she did  
TG: she could always have given you over to the foster system  
TG: or given you to dad egbert i mean apparently they knew eachother  
TG: anyway im saying that you shouldnt be blaming yourself for this  
TG: you couldnt have really been a better child like youre a child its her job to look after you not the other way around  
TT: I knew how to look after myself, Dave. I could easily have helped her whilst simultaneously looking after myself.  
TG: yeah no  
TT: If I’d been more understanding, or spent more time with her, maybe she would have battled her alcoholism. Maybe she would have been better at her job if she’d been more understanding.  
TG: rose no  
TT: Maybe I’m imagining all of this, projecting _something_ onto her, and she did nothing wrong.  
TT: That’s surprisingly likely, actually. I know I didn’t communicate with her much, if at all.  
TG: oh come on dont blame yourself  
TT: Maybe I just took it as far worse than it really was.  
TT: And. I’m scared that maybe if I projected this onto my mother, who I was constantly in contact with, maybe I’ll project it onto Kanaya too.  
TG: you shouldnt have to look after yourself  
TG: you shouldnt have to help her with her alcoholism  
TG: you were a kid rose  
TG: i doubt you imagined any of this and i doubt youd imagine kanaya doing this  
TG: rose i think your mother may have been neglectful  
TG: scratch that rose your mother was neglectful  
TG: definitely emotionally maybe just in general  
TG: but either way its not your fault  
TG: i mean would you tell me that bros abuse was my fault  
TT: NO. Of course I wouldn’t.  
TT: It’s your bro’s fault that he did that, you can’t be blamed.  
TG: exactly  
TG: neglect is still bad rose  
TG: just like emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse  
TG: neglect whether emotional or just plain neglect is not something that you should ever have had to deal with  
TG: and its your moms fault for not taking responsibility for the kid she decided to have around anyway  
TG: like thats on her just like its on my bro  
TG: you cant blame a kid for that shit you just cant they dont have a clue whats going on ever and they need adult guidance  
TG: and someone to be there for them and who else are they gonna learn  
TG: all the cool tricks from because it sure aint themselves  
TG: kids are basically just a bunch of building blocks when theyre born but nothings written on em  
TG: and its the adults responsibility to make sure only good shit gets written and they get a solid foundation  
TG: its like building a house you gotta have a good solid parent there to care about em an teach em right from wrong an if your guardian didnt do that thats on her  
TG: not you  
TG: got it  
TT: Yeah.  
TT: I.  
TT: Thank-you, Dave.  
TG: no problem  
TG: you helped me remember  
TG: and now was the time for me to finally help you back  
TT: You didn’t need to repay me.  
TG: yeah but i wanted to  
TG: hope this helped even a little  
TG: gotta be there for my ecto sis or whatever  
TG: anyway you prolly got a hot alien wife to go mack on  
TG: ill be around if you need me

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 4:13pm!

TT: Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 4:27pm!

TT: Hello, Kanaya.  
GA: Rose What A Wonderful Surprise  
GA: What Did I Do To Gain The Honour Of Talking To You Once Again Oh Gorgeous Wife Of Mine  
TT: I’m sorry I left. I was having a… crisis, I suppose.  
TT: Dave helped me realise that I was being stupid, and should talk to you about it.  
TT: So, here I am.  
TT: Mostly because I’m pretty far away, and don’t think I could say anything out loud anyway.  
GA: Oh No  
GA: Im Listening  
GA: Whats Wrong  
TT: I think my mother may have been.  
TT: No, she was.  
TT: My mother was neglectful, which given how your culture differs from ours, I expect I will have to explain.  
GA: Oh  
GA: As Much As I Despise Him I Think I Know What You Mean Because Of Him  
TT: Who, the clown troll?  
TT: Gamzee?  
TT: Or did you mean Eridan.  
GA: No I Meant Gamzee  
GA: His Lusus Was Never Around  
GA: And As A Result He Was Never Taught Not To Eat The Sopor We Sleep In  
GA: And It Never Seemed To Have An Effect On Him Other Than The Consumption Of Sopor Of Course  
GA: But Then That Lack Of Effect Could Have Been Because Of Said Sopor Consumption  
GA: But I Feel You Mean You Had The Same Issue As Him  
TT: Almost. It seems very similar.  
TT: Honestly my neglect was more emotional than anything. Gamzee’s lusus was never around, whereas mine was.  
TT: However, whilst she was around, she was never fully there.  
TT: She was almost always drunk, or asleep, and never seemed to really care about how that affected me as I grew up.  
TT: But I didn’t realise this until much later on.  
TT: After we started the game, even.  
TT: And I didn’t realise that I couldn’t have changed what happened even if I tried until roughly half an hour ago.  
GA: What Do You Mean By That  
GA: Why Did You Think You Could Change What Was Happening  
TT: I thought I could have been a better child. I thought that it was my fault, that I didn’t try hard enough to understand her and spend time with her, and I thought that if I’d done better, been better, tried harder, she would have been there.  
TT: And I thought that maybe if I was a better kid she’d stop drinking.  
TT: I think that maybe, subconsciously, I thought that it was my fault she drank in the first place.  
TT: And I think maybe, subconsciously, I still do.  
GA: How Could It Be Your Fault  
GA: She Was The Human Equivalent Of A Lusus And As Such She Was Supposed To Take Care Of You  
GA: It Is Obvious That She Wasnt Capable Of Doing So  
GA: And Incapable Lusii Shouldnt Be Taking Care Of Grubs  
GA: Or Children  
GA: Your Mother Was Terrible At Her Job And It Could Never Be Your Fault  
TT: I know that now.  
TT: Or, well, consciously I know. Subconsciously, probably not. But it’s not like I can instantly change my subconscious thought process.  
TT: But, as Dave said, “TG: kids are basically just a bunch of building blocks when theyre born but nothings written on em”  
TT: “TG: and its the adults responsibility to make sure only good shit gets written and they get a solid foundation”  
TT: “TG: its like building a house you gotta have a good solid parent there to care about em an teach em right from wrong an if your guardian didnt do that thats on her”  
TT: “TG: not you”  
GA: Hes Right  
GA: It Is A Lusiis Job To Teach Their Grub How To Survive In Alternian Society  
GA: And I Am Assuming Parents Have The Same Job  
GA: And Not Giving The Child A Solid Foundation Is Not Conductive To That  
TT: Yeah.  
GA: Im Sorry That Your Mother Wasnt Very Good At Her Job  
TT: It’s okay. It’s not your fault.  
TT: I’m going to come home now.  
GA: Ill See You Soon Then  
GA: Come Home Safely  
TT: I will.  
TT: I love you, Kanaya.  
TT: Thank you so much.  
GA: I Love You Too Rose

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 5:59pm!

**Author's Note:**

> HUGE SHOUTOUT to my friend Dave, who wrote some ~~(read: a lot of)~~ Dave's dialogue. He was a huge help, and I'm amazed at how well he writes - his characterisation is on point.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this, and that it was perhaps helpful to some people.
> 
> As usual, you can find me on tumblr [@felinedetached](https://felinedetached.tumblr.com/), and thank you for reading!


End file.
